Today is my wife Kim’s birthday. She was born in 1966 so you can do the math to figure out how old/young she is. Kim was raised in Timberlea, her grandfather and his brothers named the village and ran the mill. They sold the land before it was worth much but they did manage to hold on to lots for all of the children, including Kim’s mother. The Frasers live up and down Fraser’s Road and the brother’s first names are side streets that run off of Fraser. As a child of the suburbs Kim had a car at an early age and liked all the comforts of living a good 15 minutes outside the big city.
Kim loves the open spaces and the privacy that comes with having neighbours some distance away. That is why she loves living in Tantallon, where all the homes in our subdivision are a kilometer apart. I tell people Kim is a hermit because she is a very self-contained person, she can spend a lot of time by herself and be perfectly happy. Some have wondered what an extrovert like me is doing with an introvert like Kim, one joyous reality for me is that I never have to worry about entertaining Kim or filling the silence. When I come home at night there is no need for me to do anything than just relax and be quiet. It may surprise people to know that I do this on a regular basis.
Kim is also very calm and devoid of drama. That means when I come home I meet two very calm and drama-free persons, Kim and Lucy. While I am known to be very hyper physically I am also quite stoic emotionally. So on a regular basis the house exists with no drama, calm and quiet, the only sign of life being my heavy and fast walking around the house itself.
Kim spends a lot of time reading, the one item she find difficult to part with is a book. When she finds a book she loves Kim will read that book again and sometimes again. I think the reason for this is that she loves good writing and the absorbing of good writing and good music (she loves the blues) fills her spirit with a sense of joy and possibility. Kim’s sense of humour has rubbed off on Lucy and me, it can be sarcastic, it is frequently self-deprecating, and it can mock some sacred cows. It is humour that is designed not to take the self too seriously.
I love living in this house with these two persons as family because they both fill me with such love, such joy, such fun and such calm. For most of my life I have taken it on myself to moderate emotional people, to bring harmony to tense situations, to connect people if not entertain them. With Kim and Lucy I don’t have to do anything other than be free to say what I think and not worry how that will affect them. It is enormously freeing to let go of all the worry about how everyone in the room is reacting to everyone else and try to “fix” that.
On this birthday I give thanks for Kim, her warmth, for the fact she is the best mother in the world, for being my best friend and for bringing me peace I have never experienced before or since.