Change

I’ve been teasing people about change. Namely, I have been teasing people about their attitude to change. But it turns out the joke is on me, most people don’t like and don’t want change. And it turns out the resistance to change is not just the result of aging. I see children who want things to remain “as is, teenagers getting annoyed with parents who change family patterns and traditions and adults who become a slave to their routines. It turns out almost everyone wants things to stay the same.

Except nothing, nothing, stays the same. Technology is what we notice changing the fastest, but cultures evolve too. As much as people yearn for a simpler and more pure time in the past the need to address obvious social ills necessitates change. Sexism, racism, heterosexism, and classism all require change. And because we now live longer, at least in our context, that too changes our expectations, our coping ability and our understanding of what life means and what we can hope for.

I think all of this requires some sorting out about our own attitudes to change. If it is coming regardless, then we should at least understand how we respond to it. I confess I am somewhat confused about my own response to change. On one hand I seem to embrace, even love change. Every time I change the church I serve I get excited, every time I meet new people I am excited, every time I have moved to a new community I am excited, every time I have joined a new community group, volunteered at a new agency or involved myself in a new advocacy organization I have been excited. I am never, ever, nostalgic, even when I concede that I do believe people generally had more patience and were more considerate years ago (that being said people are more open, less racist, less sexist, and certainly less heterosexist, than they used to be!). I have no interest in going back in time, not ever.

Yet, as my dear mother used to chide me, I am reluctant to learn new things. My mother would remind me that whenever anyone would try to teach me something new I would fall back on what I knew and use those existing skills to “make do”. I became very creative about using what I already knew to do things that on their face required adaptation or an outright new skill set. I have spent a lifetime finding ways to avoid learning to do new things, which is a large part of the reason I am so low-maintenance and easily satisfied with how things are. Being happy with your lot in life, with what you already have is a great way to talk yourself out of learning to do something new that could yield you more.

I should point out I love to learn new things about the subjects that interest me. I am a sponge for information and analysis about ideas, people, and strategies. But when it comes to learning a new technique, a new way to do something, or a new skill, you will find I am an expert at making myself invisible.

I am not sure I understand this contradiction in myself and I confess it bothers me to be living this contradiction. I pride myself in consistency and this is one area where I am unable to live it out. Change? You bet! Nostalgia? No thanks! But learn a new skill? No thank you, I am happy with what I can do now. Go figure.

But one thing I know for sure, the world around me is going to keep changing and how I respond to it, new skills or not, is going to determine my own happiness. Let’s hope I have keep moving, keep meeting new people, and keep joining new causes. And for the sake of those in my midst I hope I am open enough in each case to learn what is necessary so I am not a needless burden.