I have been strolling down memory lane a lot in recent days. The photo is from Rev. Catherine MacDonald. Many years ago she facilitated a reflection time at a Presbytery meeting and distributed photos that she had taken. She invited folks to spend some time gazing at their picture and then share the words that came to mind. This picture spoke to me so much about the paths that we take … and how often we never quite see where we are going, but have to trust that the path is clear and we have to keep taking that next step. I have had it posted in my home study for years.
The word nostalgia, I have only this moment discovered, can be defined in two different ways, AI tells me. There is Restorative Nostalgia, where the focus is on trying to rebuild, re-create, or return to an idealized “golden age” of the past, often tied to feelings of loss or regret. Reflective Nostalgia accepts that the past is gone while finding warmth, comfort and joy in remembering it. I would like to think that I have been engaging this week in the second definition of nostalgia … Reflective Nostalgia.
Perhaps I’m nostalgic because in preparing the worship service for this Sunday with staff and our guest speaker, Skyler Boylan from the Canadian Foodgrains Bank, has reminded me of my own educational trajectory over the past 40 plus years. And how my understanding of world hunger and social justice underpinned all of my major life decisions and when I think about it, probably still does. I will say more about that on Sunday.
Perhaps it’s also because Jimmy keeps asking what the name of the band I sang in during the late 1970s was … I don’t think he can quite reconcile some of my anecdotes from that time with who am now. But isn’t that true of all of us? Do we recognize ourselves in the different phases of our lives? My answer to that question is a definitive yes and no.
So this one is for you Jimmy …
Not sure about the “sensational” part … a bit of poetic license from whoever created the ad I think. We were an Irish cover band from Ontario (although we had picked up a Cape Bretoner when we got to the East Coast) that found more work on the East Coast than in Ontario. Within several months of arriving in the summer of 1977 we had all decided to stick around for while. Actually I read in one of my journals this week that 49 years ago this month I moved into a tiny apartment on Allan Street. It was my first official residence in Halifax.
One year later I was married to a Haligonian, and two years later I was expecting our first child. I eventually left the Farriers and branched out on my own, doing the nightly lounge thing in places like the Lance and Shield at the Citadel Inn, Edward and Julie’s at the Chateau Halifax, and the MicMac Hotel in Dartmouth … and several others that I can’t even remember their names. Those were the days when small bars and lounges could afford to pay someone to sing 6 nights a week. Those days are long gone.
I did that until I was about 7 months pregnant with my second child and then came to my senses. Believe it or not, it was a lonely life. And it certainly doesn’t fit well with two young children.
Perhaps, nostalgia just comes naturally at a certain age.
Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend and colleague, Rev. Emily Duggan, who is the new minister at St. John’s United Church in Fall River. Emily has been the minister in Louisbourg, Nova Scotia for over a decade, is married to Tim Kelly, and they have two young children, Grace and Angus.
I first met Emily in my very early days as the United Church Chaplain at Dalhousie in the fall of 2003. She was from North Bay, Ontario, and arrived in my office during her first week at Dal. She was seeking someone to talk to after learning of her grandfather’s death back home. I was so glad to have been there that day.
A friendship developed that would take us many places … to conferences and youth events at local and national levels of the UCC, and to many educational and social activities (retreats, dinners, Cranium nights at my place, helping with the youth group at St. John’s in Halifax …) during her time at Dalhousie. We traveled together to Guatemala with youth and other leaders from St. John’s United Church in Halifax. She became an important mentor to my daughter, who was also discerning her place in the church.
I was extremely privileged to perform Emily and Tim’s (also an alum of the Dal Campus Ministry gang) marriage (picture below) in Louisbourg in 2014. It is amazing and a wonderful gift to now be in the same city as Emily and Tim.
I call Emily the poster child of successful children and youth ministry. She was nurtured in a small United Church community in North Bay where her mother played the organ. There wasn’t a huge youth group there … but everyone knew her name and she was part of the community. When she was in crisis and away from home she knew to seek out a faith leader and came to the Dalhousie Campus Ministry Office on Edwards St. looking for a United Church minister. I am so grateful to that small community for nurturing Emily’s faith, and for her courage in seeking someone to talk to … and I am so grateful that I was on duty that day.
I guess nostalgia is not so bad … when you get to to see how the dots have connected through our lives. It all leads to the present moment. Reflective Nostalgia.
This week at worship we will learn about the work of the Canadian Foodgrains Bank and how the United Church of Canada supports their work. You will meet Skylar Boylan, another amazing young adult making her way in the world. She will speak to us during worship and will also be at Fellowship Time afterwards, so please plan to join us. Plus, she has a couple of surprising connections to Bethany.
many blessings
Martha