A group of us gathered on Thursday at lunch to have a conversation about The Upending of Wendall Forbes by David Guiliano. We always start our book conversations with a quick go around … thumbs up or thumbs down? Everyone there gave the book an enthusiastic thumbs up. Here’s a description of the book:
“In his latest novel, David Giuliano delivers a warm, funny, and deeply human story about aging, resilience, and the surprising ways life can be renewed. Wendall and Ruby Forbes are grappling with sleepless nights, loneliness, and the unsettling fear that Ruby may be showing signs of dementia. Just when the weight of these worries threatens to overwhelm them, a fierce blizzard sweeps through their small town and transforms their quiet home into an unexpected sanctuary.
The storm brings with it an unforgettable cast of strangers: an Indigenous Colombian refugee and his partner, a young man on an accidental quest, a teenage activist and her younger brother, and even a sleep consultant all the way from Indianapolis. Each arrives with their own hopes and burdens, and together they create a household buzzing with stories, laughter, and surprising revelations. With warmth and sharp insight, Giuliano shows how chance encounters can spur renewal and remind people of the bonds that sustain them.”
You can read more, including an interview with David Guiliano at:
You can also find a Youtube interview with David Guiliano at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqDVQsYYaxk
The book was both sad and funny, poignant, insightful, and thought provoking. Many of us there related to the themes of aging and change. I know I certainly did.
Three years ago this month I told the congregation of Kingston Road United Church in the east end of Toronto that I had made the difficult decision to leave, after being their lead minister for 5 years. I started with KRU as a supply minister for 5 months, and ended up staying for 5 years as their permanent minister. I seem to have a pattern of doing this … in 2014 I went to St. John’s to fill in after Linda Yates left … and ended up staying as their Intentional Interim Minister for 4 years, leaving in 2018.
My intention in 2023 was to retire, come back to Halifax and never work in a church again. (Note: my spiritual director has asked me on several occasions … “Do you realize how many times you have told me you are leaving the church?”) It had been a wonderful 5 years at KRU, and we did great ministry together. But I was tired, burned out after leading them through the Covid years, and missing family. It was time to come home. And I was just turning 70 … surely my days in ministry were over? I was ending on a high, (but very tired) note.
Well … you have no doubt heard the saying … “if you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.” Nine months later … I landed at Bethany – part time at first and then full time. And I got hooked … by all the things that were happening, by the wonderful staff team, in the way that I was welcomed and affirmed, in the way that my skills and experience seemed to match many of the current needs of the congregation. So I stayed and we named some particular projects we could work on that would hopefully set you up well for a new spiritual leader.
Those projects took a bit longer than expected. There has been much progress … but there is still much to do. But then – there always is in a faith community. Every faith community. The reality is that a faith community is always changing.
My hope was that I would be able to stay until your new leader came – hopefully by September 1, but I had said to the leadership that I wouldn’t leave you in the lurch and would be open to extending that if the search took a bit longer.
Turns out that was a bit ambitious. After much discernment, I have decided that I will be leaving Bethany, after a short extension of my present appointment which ends on April 30, at the end of June. Turns out, like Wendall and Ruby Forbes, I have to slow down. Full time work is not for me anymore. The past year has taken a bit of a toll, both mentally and physically. This was not an easy decision to make. And for a number of reasons, it was one I had to make alone, which isn’t really my style. But as I sit with it, I know it’s the right one.
It hurts my soul to see the worry in my daughter’s eyes when she sees my wobbly walking over uneven ground. Or listens to one of my rants about something which didn’t used to bother me … or at least let it get to me as much. My patience is very thin. I see that same worry sometimes in my colleagues’ faces … which is touching and appreciated. And humbling. I don’t have the capacity to be the leader that I want to be – and – also like Wendall and Ruby – I have to face my limitations. And be open to the surprises along the way. Which I seem to be losing my capacity to do.
And so … we still have things to do in the next couple of months … and we have plans. There is much happening at Bethany, as usual. And these are exciting times. And, these past nearly 2 years have been a great blessing in my life which I never could have imagined.
And … there is still good news in the world. I can’t believe how invested I was in Artemis II’s return to earth. As always, Anne Lamott’s column this week lifted my spirits (will repost below) … and also reminded me of a wisdom story I know as “Good News, Bad News” … perhaps I will read it to you all someday … and Brian Shields sent me a couple of wonderful songs on youtube this week.
See you Sunday when we will be exploring the story of “Doubting” Thomas. And also, “The Girl with Big, Big Questions.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os6sqWg93og
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN6zSez_d1c
Anne Lamott’s column yesterday:
”There is so much evil and heartbreak happening right now. Whenever something especially hideous happens, and I won't name names, I first think, "These are end times, Children," but then I remind myself of an old Buddhist story about a farmer whose fences are broken down by wild horses.” … read more at:
https://open.substack.com/pub/annelamott/p/today-dc2?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email