Feminist. Is this a word that annoys you, inspires you, leaves you cold, or makes you feel a whiff of nostalgia? In the early 1980’s it was a word I came to accept and absorb. I am not sure if a man can be a feminist but a man can work with women to make feminism a reality. In the early 1980’s the goals of feminists were clear, to reach equality by removing those stereotypes and assumptions that held women back, that kept society locked in a vice of patriarchy. We worked hard to change our language and remove male language for persons in places of influence, to call God neither male nor female, stop always referring to women’s looks, to be aware of how we talked and wrote about women. We were trying then.
There was an effort then to buy gender neutral toys for children, to stop dressing all girls in pink and boys in blue, to get away from “he’s all boy” and “she’s a real princess”. There was an effort to help boys be more sensitive and girls to experience more aggressive sports and activities. When I was in university the differences between how the genders dressed was more subtle; jeans, sweaters, even shoes and hair looked relatively similar. The idea was to remove uncomfortable and unhealthy clothing from the “beauty myth”, heels caused back pain, and high skirts were uncomfortable and difficult to navigate in an active lifestyle. To put it bluntly there was a sense that the stereotypes around gender roles had gotten out of hand and were influencing how women saw themselves and how society saw women.
If women saw more women working in engineering, law or medicine, as CEO’s or political leaders, those with this inclination would be more likely to give these careers a try. Thus came affirmative action, if there was a job opening and many qualified candidates applied the better choice would be a visible minority or a woman so as to create role models for aspiring persons who could not visualize someone who looked like them in these positions. It made sense then and it worked. Affirmative action did inspire many younger women to step forward and train for jobs that were considered non-traditional for women and the evidence of the effect of these programs is everywhere.
Of course there was backlash, even then. I recall the ridiculous comment that “men would not hold the door for women anymore”. The obvious answer was for whomever got to the door first, as a matter of consideration and courtesy, would open the door for the next person. Every time we would give this answer the cranky person posing the question would mumble something like, “I never thought of that.” There was a lot of “I never thought of that.”
Back then I assumed by 2018 that we would be in a different place, more women would be in positions of power, that young people would grow up free of gender roles and choose for themselves the behaviours, relationships and careers that best suited them.
The good news is that aspect of feminism that focused on empowerment and choice worked. Tell a young woman in 2018 she can’t be a CEO or a Premier or a doctor and you will receive universal condemnation. That form of sexism is largely eradicated and young women will not tolerate any attempt to limit their freedom to be anything they want to be. As the father of a daughter this makes me very happy.
The concerning things for me is the lack of interest in today’s generation in offering a critical look at gender roles. If anything the language around “women are…” and “men are…” is even more pronounced. Parents today are very interested in people knowing what gender their son or daughter are. The comments “he’s all boy” and “she is a real princess” are back with a vengeance. I have not presided at a wedding where the bride kept her name in over 20 years. And the contortions and discomfort of fashion for women are very much part of our current beauty myth. For 80’s feminists like me watching young women embrace these stereotypes is jarring.
Further, I have an alarming number of young women tell me they don’t like to work for female bosses. And in 2016, when women in the US had an opportunity to elect the first ever female President white women voted for Donald Trump. Consider that in 2008 and 2012 African Americans voted in record numbers to elect the first ever African American President. Feminists scratch their heads when considering these matters. Feminists are not anti-male any more than persons who support racial justice are anti-white or persons who support gays, lesbians and transgendered persons are anti-straight.
At this moment in time, in this culture, persons who believe in the 80’s feminism I did, I do, are in the minority. We take some solace that there is common ground on empowerment, opportunity and fairness for women to live out their dreams and goals. That is a very, very good thing. But the extent to which gender stereotypes play into limiting these aspirations remain troubling to me, and many others.