Loss, Healing, and Hope: A “Blue Christmas” Service
For the most part, Christmas is a time of celebration and joy. For many, however, this is a difficult time of year. Many people are carrying significant weights: grief, loss, depression, anxiety, financial stress, unemployment, uncertainty, aging parents, sick children, recent diagnoses, unknown illnesses. The public tone of the season does not resonate with many people’s private experience.
The shape of worship offered here begins by gathering in honesty about grief, hearing the consolation found in God’s presence and love, and departing with the joy that comes from memory and a sense of shared peace. Thankfully, and especially in worship, music opens up pathways of the spirit that ordinary words cannot.
As you enter tonight we invite you to take a stone and hold it in your hands throughout the service. This stone is your grief, the pain you hold in this special season of Advent. Advent is about holding, waiting, preparing. During this liturgy there will come a time for you to come forward and lay your stone on a foundation of collective support. There is no expectation for you to do this but your presence and participation is valued. Further, if coming forward is challenging for you physically one of our worship leaders will come and take your stone and place it on the foundation.
Gathering as God’s People
Prelude ‘Twas in the Moon of Wintertime
Greeting and Call to Worship
All around us, lights are lit and carols play. The season heaps joy upon us. Yet, we who come here, we carry more than joy; we carry loss, worry, grief and pain. We come weary, seeking rest from expectations. We also seek a holy presence to be with us. We come to this place, by the resilient grace of God: love that never lets go.
Carol: VU 64 O Little Town of Bethlehem
Prayer of Approach
We gather this night, to remember…
those who have touched our lives,
glad memories and happy stories,
and love that we hold dear.
We name those who have been life itself to us.
We gather in the name of Jesus,
vulnerable as an infant,
joyful and happy as a youth,
wise and caring as an adult.
We gather in the presence of God, who brings life and light to all.
All life is precious in God’s sight.
No one is ever alone or forgotten.
Come, let us gather in the Spirit of hope and peace.
We worship, in the name of joy and love. Amen.
Ministry of Music: Still, Still, Still Ann Bradley
Listening for God’s Promise
Losing One We Love
Isaiah 40:1, 6–8
Prayer
Holy One, you are with us in times of trouble and in times of peace; in times of sorrow and times of joy. When we are unsure of how to continue living and loving, your Spirit intervenes with sighs too deep for words. Speak for us now, Loving God. Comfort us with your abiding peace… (silence)
Sung Response VU#494 Those Hearts That We Have Treasured (v. 1)
Healing and Memory
Psalm 139:7–12
Prayer
God of all, when we feel alone, you draw nearer; when we lose our footing, you guide us toward a good path. Through the ages, you have promised to be a comfort to your people, and you call us to be a comfort to others. In all our living, may we never lose the memory of our most cherished relationships, and may we feel the courage and strength you offer to us through those who surround us…(silence)
Sung Response VU#494 Those Hearts That We Have Treasured (v. 2)
Living with Hope and Love
John 14:1–4, 18–19
Prayer
God of hope and joy, you prepare our hearts for renewal. You till the soil of our lives and nurture small shoots of possibility. Even when we are unsure, you repeat your promise: I will never leave you. Open us, Holy One, to your promise. Hold us in your care. Strengthen us for your future. Guide us in anticipation and faith… (silence)
Sung Response VU#494 Those Hearts That We Have Treasured (v. 3)
Ministry of Music: In the Bleak Midwinter Ann Bradley
Remembering in Hope
Ceremony of Commemoration
This portion of our liturgy was written by Dana Mills. We thank her for her words of wisdom, compassion and new life. The stones were collected by Janet Sponagle Hopper. We thank her for this sacred finding and for creating the formation that will help us experience the support that surrounds us in community and with our God.
This ceremony of awareness invites people to come forward with a stone as a representation of a loss experienced in their life. People will be asked to place the stone as part of the foundation of growing strong with our grief or bereavement.
We place this rock in acknowledgement that grief is a very normal response to personal loss.
It is natural. It is a process. And it is the best gift when living through loss and tragedy.
As we grow to understand this, we realize O God, that we wouldn't want it any other way. We want to grieve when a loved one dies, simply because we have loved. We want to grieve when we leave a beloved home or relationship because it means a lot to us. We want to grieve when our status in life is no longer the same and pushes forth change in our world.
What we don't want to do is suffer. When we grieve well, we do not suffer.
Our loving Creator, death and loss you have designed in your wisdom as you have done with the gift of life and all its blessings. When bereavement or loss occurs, grief touches every aspect of our being, every movement of our soul.
We think that grief grows smaller and disappears, but with your guidance, we learn it doesn’t move on, we just learn to have it as part of our life.
Like a jagged rock, grief gets buried deep in your pocket, from time to time, its harsh edges presses and pushes you to take it out and examine it.
Even when I don't want to and when it is too heavy to carry, I ask you, God be with me to hold this sharp stone, so I may find comfort and peace.
As time passes it is a little easier to take the rock out of your pocket. It doesn't seem to weigh as much.
Now I show it to a circle of friends, and even a stranger, for it is a part of our shared human experience.
One day you will pull out the rock and unexpectedly, the pain, the loss, the despair doesn't hurt as strong as before.
For the edges are no longer jagged, but smoothed out by Your touch of time, of love, of hope, of peace, and of joy.
Grief has many faces, takes numerous shapes and speaks in a variety of voices. Grief can be welcome, yet it can rob one of sleep. Grief can saturate your mind, or set you free. Grief can paralyze, or bring personal growth.
Grief walks in our midst gives us opportunity to share another’s burden. We connect in whatever way is helpful to share our pain, to take us through an agonizing time. God we draw on our faith to strengthen us, we give thanks for life, hope and the rock in our world, your son, Jesus. Amen
We come forward to lay down our stone on a foundation of support
Going in Peace
The light is passed from person to person, and people’s courage is cheered by a familiar carol. The flame of the Christ candle is the source for tapers or small candles that could have been handed out at the beginning of the service.
Sharing Christ’s Light
Carol: VU#67 Silent Night
Benediction (written by Roddy Hamilton) This Christmas I wish for you, light to crumple up the darkness
This Christmas I wish for you, love to pull us closer to one another
This Christmas I wish for you, peace, the same the angels sang
This Christmas I wish for you, starlight to follow on your way home
This Christmas I wish for you, promise to keep hope alive for you
This Christmas I wish for you, God newly born and in the flesh
This Christmas I wish for you, Jesus Christ born this night light of the world
Amen.