I have not been feeling well these last few days, the result of a tooth ache. I finally went to my dentist yesterday and discovered I have a broken tooth that requires root canal. I am on a waiting list… In the meantime, I have antibiotics and Advil. I am not used to taking medication, I discovered I do not have an association with a local pharmacy (when they looked me up, my last prescription was in Ottawa 2002). I find these drugs work very well in the first half of their duration period, and then the pain sets in for the latter half. Grin (sort of) and bear it. I have a few quiet days working at home but a very busy and public weekend. I jokingly have told Shawn to be on standby, to pretend to be me, no one will know the difference, except for volume).
I share all this because I notice something happens when we share our medical challenges, free advice. Because the only topics where I have any kind of helpful knowledge are sports, politics, and religion, I tend to be someone who seeks others out for suggestions. That can be problematic, as what is offered is usually less suggestions, than certain direction. Moreover, the source of this advice is usually the one who is offering it, meaning it worked for her/him/them, thus it must work for me.
I am less patient with unsolicited advice. I repeatedly ask, “please no unsolicited advice”. But it appears people cannot help themselves. I tend to ask several people for suggestions, assess what I hear, and then decide on a plan of action. Likewise, when I am asked for advice, I share what has worked for me and if I know the person asking for my input, I will also share what has worked for people in a similar situation. But I always add, “but that is just my experience.” Again, what I find interesting is the way we use the word humility, always connecting it to a lack of boasting/bragging. But in my view, humility is also a lack of certainty that I know everything, that my experience is everyone’s experience.
I get a lot of free advice. I prefer to ask for it first. Often this advice is delivered with a most certain tone, a directive, “do this”. I wonder, if the roles were reversed, how would this be received. I never assume, what works for me, will work for you. Still, one of the great blessings of community is shared experience. I learn so much from listening to others share their experiences. I still have so much to learn.