How does the church respond to those who contact us with requests like, “I want my baby done” and “I want a funeral with all the bells and whistles, like Jimmy was a member of the church” and “I want a wedding at the church and perhaps a reception and sound system and…” Long time church members and active adherents see this and blow a fuse. They look at people with tenuous connections to the church taking advantage of the congregation, getting the church to offer lots of services, the building, the staff, for next to nothing. After a time the church will begin to think it is time to create policy, say in writing that members get these services for free and non-members have to pay for them. The sense of satisfaction with this remedy lasts for about a month. That is until persons calling the church tell the office they are members, that the paper work has been lost. And to add insult to injury the long time and active adherent now has to pay for these services. Oops.
I do understand this frustration, though less from a monetary point of view. We simply don’t know why some folks offer limited financial contributions and others are more generous. Even when we assume people have nice homes, drive sturdy cars and have generous pensions we don’t know the total picture, financial demands that may be more onerous than we realize. My view of these offerings by the church is that we do them with grace-filled love and suggest an amount with no strings attached, for everybody, no exceptions. Working in a church, a place inspired by Jesus, is to understand that these kind of challenges are “the cost of doing business”. If you set out to be a witness to a grace-filled love you don’t expect reciprocity, you do what you do in love and hope others will too.
What frustrated me is not the money, it is the lack of consideration. I am a staff person so I expect people to ask me to do things. If a member, adherent, active person, someone who never darkens the door of the church, come to me with a request I try my best to fulfill that request regardless of what the other does or doesn’t do. But I am troubled by how inconsiderate people are of the church volunteers. Imagine taking advantage of a volunteer, 80 years plus, who comes first thing in the morning, lifting chairs, making sandwiches, using their modest pension to pay for things like foodstuffs, so something can come in and demand service. Again, it is not me who I am protective of, I feel responsible for the volunteers who offer their best to assist anyone and everyone who needs the church for a funeral or a wedding or some other event.
So I am bothered when someone comes to the church and expects the service of an events planner, a paid support staff from a hotel, the building to be carried for like a convention center, when in reality they know they are dealing with a church, where the only paid person is the Minister. Is that fair?
In a culture of me-first, where we expect to receive service the way we want it, when we want it, where we can go online and complain when the service is not perfect, it is no surprise we have these kind of behaviours. But it is regrettable and unjust and cause for concern. Further, leaving aside what this kind of demanding attitudes do to others think what it does to the soul of the person making these expectations known? Is it really any way to enjoy life to go around demanding, expecting, without ever offering to be part of a group (people don’t join groups much anymore) ourselves? I feel for these persons and hope and pray they do come to see the world from other perspectives, in particular the perspective of the one doing the volunteering.