Limits
Romans 5:3-4
And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.
I was explaining today one of many eccentricities; namely that while I tend to be a worrier and assume things won’t pan out I work as hard as anyone to make good things happen. Many so-called pessimists inspire the exact opposite result, people give up, get cynical and throw up their hands in despair. Not me. When I look at a situation and know there is a very real possibility (even likely) that what I am hoping for won’t come to pass I am also thinking at that very moment about every possible thing I can do to make things as good as they can possibly be. And I am happy as I do this, there is real joy in my step, in my voice, in my thoughts, in my spirit.
I see no contradiction. The key word here is limits. Unlike most of my progressive friends I am not one who stakes all my hopes and dreams in the freedom to imagine the world exactly as I want it to be. I know that is likely not going to happen. I am not even sure it is a good thing. After all who am I as one of millions of people on this planet to have things go exactly as I want them to be? How arrogant. How selfish. How inconsiderate.
I want to be happy. As a Minister I know bad things happen to good people. And I know no matter how good you are we all die relatively young; 40 or 60 or 80. It is all so fast and over so quickly. Given all the tensions of competing values, different points of view and the inevitable conflicts between people and groups, the struggle of life is not only short, it can be hard. All of these things are what I call limits. There is inherit limits on my freedom, even my happiness. BUT, and here is the Good News, these limits produce something magical, meaningful, they produce character, and hope.
When I was younger and assumed it was all about me I yearned for a world more in my own image and hoped that by my hard work, good character and strong values the world would bend to my will. There is no humility there! Life kicked the crap out of that fantasy. But rather than get cynical and resentful and angry I found something better. Within the limits there was a flexibility to be shared, I could listen to others and hear what they wanted, what they dreamed of, and together we could fashion a community of mutual joy and happiness.
I really like helping people. I don’t have many gifts; I have a good memory, I am a good public speaker, I can focused on finding out about others and trying to find ways to bring joy to their life and I know how to explain complicated matters in a straight forward way that can lead to results. But that isn’t much. But not having much to offer was a gift, it removed me from the conceit of thinking I could/should control others, that I knew what was best for them, and that others should do what I wanted. I never thought I knew what was best for them, only that removing this conceit was the first step to humility and happiness. In a sense the conceit of control ignored the first limit of God’s Creation; that we are all different and we are put here to know one another and love one another.
I have a lot of anxiety when I drive. I hate driving and I hate being in a car no matter who is driving (unless it is a bus!). But what I feel in daily life is not anxiety, it is worry that all of this will come to an end. It is not an unfounded fear because it will end. There is no made up phobia here, what I worry about is real but given that we don’t know when it will end drives me to do more, care more and live more. And oddly this worry makes me happier. I am not recommending it to others, just explaining how it works for me.
Micah 6:6-8
What God Requires
“With what shall I come before the Lord,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”
He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?