When we experience true suffering, the kind that results in the dark nights of the soul, our most burning question is almost always: “Why?” “Why is this happening to me? To someone I love? Why is this happening right now? Why did this have to happen this way?” Another question that arises from suffering is, “how can I find healing in this challenging time?”
Regrettably, the answers to all these question is almost always silence. When the clear causations are stripped away, the deep chasm echoes nothing back, but the rush of wind. And it is at the edge of that darkness that suffering produces deep sadness, sometimes anger, sometimes regret, and sometimes resignation. In short we stew, we sit with these feelings and wonder what to do with them. If we are blessed with support, from family, from friends, from a faith community, we can openly and honestly share these feelings and hope that this cathartic expression will open us to something healing, something new, some kind of hope.
So what’s the message of hope? There’s a famous book by the Catholic priest, Henri Nouwen, called The Wounded Healer. Nouwen writes about how out of our brokenness, we are able to bring a message of healing to the world. I am convinced that what we most want from each other in those moments of common brokenness is not advice, clichés or pep talks, it is the assurance that we are here for one another. It is the presence of another in the midst of suffering that often produces endurance, and then character and then hope.
Presence is key that unlocks the potential to this revelation. Whether it is the presence of another or the presence of God in God’s threefold form (Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer) that presence is a game-changer. Presence is not a “How to” manual, or a formula we follow for a desired result or a bumper sticker/tattoo we use to remind ourselves of some inspiring words. Presence is the assurance that we are not alone, that someone cares and that we are created to be in community, holy community.
When we look at Jesus’ struggles with suffering and the prospect of same we see he often chose the wilderness as a place to experience presence.
To prepare for the suffering of rejection (Luke 4:1-2, 14-15) after Jesus was baptized he spent 40 days praying in the wilderness. After this he was tempted by Satan and then began His public ministry.
Jesus sent the 12 disciples out to do ministry. When they returned he encouraged them to separate from the people who were following them to renew and refresh (Mark 6:30-32).
To work through the suffering of grief (Matthew 14:1-13) after Jesus learned that his cousin John the Baptist had been assassinated Jesus went away by himself.
In a time of distress and deep suffering over what fate awaited him Jesus went to (Luke 22:39-44) the Mt. of Olives and went a short distance away from his disciples to pray.
Exhausted and tired, surrounded by broken people who needed healing Jesus spent time alone, in the wilderness (Luke 5:16).
It’s interesting to me that this “wilderness” Jesus escapes the crowds to find is designates in scripture as such a refuge. Like many of us I was raised to believe that there was a pecking order to God’s love: people first, animals next, and a distant last would be landscape, the earth, creation. On this Trinity Sunday we affirm our belief that God is defined by relationships at the most profound level. God created a world that would feature relationships as its defining mark. Quantum physics, the Genome Project and a wide array of scientific discoveries continue to affirm that our universe is an amazing display of interrelatedness and interdependence. In this way creation declares the glory of its Creator. When humanity entered the scene, God continued the theme, created us male and female for the highest form of created relationship. And God immediately placed us in a garden with the command to tend it.
In essence there is no “pecking order”, no “who does God love most?” In reality God loves all of Creation, the relationships God instills in us is not hierarchal, it is circular, and dynamic, like a dance. As God loved the universe God loved the earth, as God loved the earth God loves the land and the sea, as God loved the land and sea God loves the plantlife, and as God loves plantlife God loves the creatures of the land and sea as God loves the creatures of land and sea God loves humans, and as God loves humans God loves all humankind. This love is accomplished by God as Divine Creator, our purpose to love in relationship, by Jesus as Savior, our purpose to seek and find the lost and bring them/us back to relationship, and as Holy Spirit, our purpose to celebrate (Acts 2) new and existing relationship as a deep expression of our faith.
We witness four levels of relationship that are established in Genesis 1-2; our relationship with God, with our self, with our neighbor and with Creation. How else would a triune God create than by establishing everything in the context of relationship? We were meant to live in whole, meaningful and mutually fulfilling relationships at all four of these levels. If God created us for whole, loving, and fulfilling relationships at these four levels, if we then experience brokenness in these relationships and need healing and reconnection, isn’t it imperative that all of us seek and find wilderness, find refuge, find presence?
So where is your wilderness, your refuge, your experience of Divine Trinitarian presence? One night, at an Executive Board meeting I asked the members to share one at a time, the place in this building where they felt such wilderness, refuge and presence. I was surprised so many chose the MacKinnon Chapel. But more surprised that many others chose the kitchen, Sunday School rooms, and the Parlour. Obviously many chose this sanctuary. What space would you name? May I offer another place of presence? The Dr. Doug Piercey Memorial Garden. You likely have seen it as you walked the hallways of the church, it is located across the hall from the chapel. There has been a team of gardeners tending the space and it now ready for you to sit, to stand, to kneel, and experience wilderness, refuge and presence.
Paul writes to the Romans…By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. (The Message)
We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. If the wilderness was good enough for Jesus to deal with his sufferings why wouldn’t we avail ourselves of the same healing space? Wilderness will not make suffering disappear. Suffering, for whatever reason, is part of the human experience. But our brokenness is not intended for us to suffer alone, we are made for relationship, Divine, human, Creation. These relationships offer perspective, healing and new life. God as Creator, Savior and Spirit mends us in relationship. Find your wilderness, find our presence, in the name of the Holy Trinity, the Divine dance of relationship, Order, Love and New Life, Amen.